come closer.

another day is over.

took a bus back home. no one's at home and therefore no dinner at home. its was dark and gloomy. Such a night it was.

As i sat alone listening to my mp3 player, i heard Damien Rice's Blower's Daughter. It brought back many fond memories from the past. Joyful moments, stupid thoughts and even some nasty words. A wave of anguish and saddness overwhelmed me. the taste of salt long forgetten, was familar and strong.

I asked myself why. Why, languish in unforgiving sadness and sorrow. To that, I have no answer.

On one hand, i want to move on, be myself, meet people, fall in love, and live.
On the other hand, the outstretch memories from the past clings so dearly.

Worst still, is knowing that if i ever want to be back with her, i can't want her. But to let her go, and be myself. But, I am afraid. I am afraid that by doing that, i would lose her forever. That, I will give my heart away.

Several people have walked into my life recently, to some whom i feel attached. Its there, but it can't be there. Aporia.

Sometimes, i wonder, is it because i am upset because i lost someone dear, or because i am alone. I do feel alone. but i do not know why i should be upset.

Shannon Jumps. [catch 22]
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postscript:
Guys, if you read this, its because you are dear to me. So, just let me rant about my life. I do not need publicity nor sympathy. Just let me know that i will be fine k. thanks.

listening to some songs that a close friend sent to me. he, too, is nursing a broken heart. salt tastes bad after awhile.