reach

i see you sitting at the library alone.
a familiar sight that seems foreign.
a figure, lonesome, but firm.

gentle ripples form.
my soul reaches out.
hold and draw you close.

remembering your scent.
remembering your tenderness.
remembering you.

in love with a ghost.
a phantom i have become.
i move on

ads: procrastination

shannon@home HomeGroupStudy[invites] - BYOB says:
suppose to be studying now..

shannon@home HomeGroupStudy[invites] - BYOB says:
but lethargy has gotten hold over me.

xephyris :: (´Д`)< ｾtﾍ… says:
procrastination!

xephyris :: (´Д`)< ｾtﾍ… says:
pays off right now, studying only pays off later

xephyris :: (´Д`)< ｾtﾍ… says:
good stuff

shannon@home BYOB [invites] says:
"Buy Procrastination"

shannon@home BYOB [invites] says:
"Dun Delay e Gratification. Get the Instant Satisfaction."

shannon@home BYOB [invites] says:
"Get it Now!"

shannon@home BYOB [invites] says:
"ermp. wait a minute...."

postscript::
try running an advertising campaign for procrastination. how do you get a relunctant audience to do something eager?
i need rest...

never told

never told. the song is amazingly beautiful and apt to how i feel.

"... stories spuned that can never be told ... " feeling rather down today. couped up in campus for way too long so i decided head back home.

"..with words that will never reach you.." stepping out into the evening crowd, blanketed by the setting golden rays, i felt better already.

"time is running out on my will and my strength, to restore all the pieces my heart that wouldn't mend..." the wind blows, gentle caress , every step i take, feels like walking into a loving embrace. a shy lover who is relunctant to let go. temporal, but tender.

"..we see but we are blind to what can be in our lives if we find.." sitting in the bus. sentimental thoughts running through my mind. picking on old wounds that healed and craving new wounds. scarred memories, scarred heart.

"... i love you more than you will ever... ever feel..." i feel trapped. i do not know why. its a simple choice which i do not want to decide. i want it to be. i know it will not. why am i unhappy when i want to be.

next to the window now. the warm rays peek into my room, the gentle breeze that lingers on my skin is cold. its a beautiful afternoon. i am still sad. i miss being in love. i miss being happy.

can u find me? i miss you.

temporal love

a quote from vamptress: "We're tryin so hard to carve scars into one another's hearts.. " how many hearts have we carved, and how many times have our own heart's been carved. for every wound that one leaves, an outpouring of soul leaves the body. each cynical wound that has healed, stays as a scar that never fades away.

in the process of love, we'll never regret the pain that its cause. cos love is such a powerful stimulent, which numbs the soul to the ugly and glorifies the small things that make us happy.

pain comes only when the love is gone, the wound becomes a scar only when the hurt is realized. we do not grieve when we are in love only we love no more.

we all seek elusive happiness.
we all meet harsh reality.

is temporal love that of emptiness or an hidden escape to happiness?
that i am not wizen enough to answer.
i can only articulate what i have experienced and learnt.

wizen souls guide me then?

fall baby fall - ryan cabrera

if you just have faith
to let me be the man that I am
i'll always run back
to show you what words never can

i don't want to be the one
just to love then lose

let 'em fall baby fall
just like the rain washes it all
if the tears will help you to heal
all that is real
all that is wrong
let 'em fall baby fall

If you'll trust that I'm gonna stay true
even when I'm gone
You don't have to worry
'cause I'll always be the man that you want

and I don't want to be the one
just to love then lose
Let 'em fall baby fall
just like the rain washes it all
if the tears will help you to heal
all that is real
all that is wrong

as your world spins around
feet never touch the ground
always hurting inside
hiding behind the sun
waiting still for the love
but it all seems so right

fall
just like the rain washes it all
if the tears will help you to heal
all that is real
all that is wrong
let 'em fall baby fall

just like the rain washes it all
if the tears will help you to heal
all that is real
all that is wrong
let 'em fall baby fall

private entry - tired

fade aways, it dies again
just another buoy in the ocean waves
i think i can comprehend.

lost i am not, fear i am brave
just another empty chapter in my life
you might not see me again.


postscript::
i rather be a rock that one clings to then a rock that trips.
time to bulk up.

bad quotes that make senses

"hellboy" the movie:

"...you like someone for his qualities, but love him for his defects."

name by goo goo dolls

And even though the moment passed me by
I still can't turn away
Cause all the dreams you never thought you'd lose
Got tossed along the way And letters that you never meant to send
Get lost or thrown away

And now we're grown up orphans
That never knew their names
We don't belong to no one
That's a shame
But if you could hide beside me
Maybe for a while
And I won't tell no one your name
And I won't tell em your name

Scars are souvenirs you never lose
The past is never far
Did you lose yourself somewhere out there
Did you get to be a star
And don't it make you sad to know that life
Is more than who we are

You grew up way too fast
And now there's nothing to believe
And reruns all become our history
A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio
And I won't tell no one your name
And I won't tell em your name

I think about you all the time
But I don't need the same
It's lonely where you are come back down
And I won't tell em your name

--------------------------------------------------
postscript :: akin to me. not a tragedy but a choice.

heady days

it's a choice i made.
no regrets i guess.
if pain comes at least i m prepared.

but now as i type, i do wonder if i'm right.
should i play along or should i stand up right?

solace i seek, and solace i give.
faux pas i wonder if i have commit.

atlas the day is late.
my brain is dead.

a dawn arises
my heady day begins

how does one fall?

"trip over a stone" or "step on [a] banana skin" are very much the way most of us fall. The reason is usually apparent and fairly obvious, usually, after we are being greeted by the tarmac. Blame it on poor motor skills, bad lighting, bad eyesight or even bad luck, physical falls are easily attributed to something or someone.

But, how does one fall in love? Blindly, most say. What's interesting all falling in love, is, unlike a physically fall, you would want to stay down. I guess the notion of the"fall", is that of one which you will be willingly "engulfed" and "trapped" in.

Which brings to the reason to this entry. Why do people disregard love so easily today? Falling in and out of love seems like a fashionable trend now. No faith in faithless generation. We are so in tune to being "instantified" that we are not willing to see things through.

Falling in love seems like a game of power. Who has the most power wins. Mind games prevalent. Everyone's now cynical about people and relationships. Is temporal love the key?

concussed now... faith is all i have. fate is where i go. nites

comments from lovehappens

from joey

yr look

u look to cool esp yr side view... anyone tells you??
42 minutes ago

-----------------------------------------
postscript:: they should have a caveat at such sites. no messaging while intoxicate. you'll run the risk of the recipent to go wtf.

ring. back.

too old. too rusty. too eager.
back to the drawing board for me.
ring. back.
moved. finger.

ever wonder why symbols exist?
in its own it speaks a thousand words.
in its image it evokes an epic picture.

back to the drawing board. now there are 2.

i

i made a decision
i followed my heart
i thought i should not

i leaped
i smiled
i ponder

i fumbled
i grumbled
i cowered

i want it to be true
i wondered would it be
i wondered if wonder did she

i want to be freed
i want to be happy
i want love, does love want me?

------------------------------------
postscript :: 5 min ramble. i wonder why should i bother, with such a load off my chest, i should be happier. heh. honestly, i can't believe i did it. strike that off my things-to-do-before-i-die list.

guess the class

So the lesson started, as usual, sharp but blunt. Weary the grim reaper is today, swinging his worn scythe at the lackadaisical class. A slow torturous death is guaranteed. Each pathetic swipe, reminiscent of classical philosophers high on imported Chinese opium, grazes our heads. Not powerful enough to scalpel our heads, but significant enough to leave a nasty scar.

the bright light above seems so inviting....