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4 years later... no where better

House, MD

Ever watched a serial on that TV that just captivates you? For the longest of time, i have been fixated with one such serial, House. In a nutshell, its about a Senior MD called House who leads a team of specialist to diagnose and treat patients who suffer from peculiar diseases or aliments. House can be best described as a coconut. Hard and cracked on the outside but pure and sweet in the inside. His sharp wit coupled with his equally sharp but rancid tongue makes House someone hard to loved but by no means hardly love. But a introduction or more accurately my raving for the serial is not the reason for this post. So what then? Motivation. After watching House tonight, I thought to myself, why the interest about such serial (read: medical jargon, not good looking cast, everything revolves usually just in the hospital, not exactly gripping stuff). Then it struck me. Hope. Everything about the serial is about Hope. Hope for an answer, hope for reciporcal respect, hope for a cure, etc. I'm such there are many times in life where we get dishearted or even fatalistically hopeless. Hope is often the only relief we can count on a stop-gap basis before we arrive at a consequence or stage. In House and life, Patients, parents, and doctors, you and I are still mere mortals. Hope motivates action. Action transpires to more hope and maybe even success. But where do we get hope from? Much of this hope lies in Faith. Whether blinded or enlightened, faith is really a conviction of one's belief, a measurement of confidence. House strikes a chord in me simply because hope, faith, and confidence usually points to success. Probably, success life is just about these few things. If we keep our faith in ourselves and perserver, success might just not be a hopefully wish.

countdown

It has been 78th days since Clara left for Switzerland. I wasnt really counting on how much i would miss her, but, i do really miss my girl. What do i miss most about her? Well, for starters, she's first, my best friend. Patient, congenial, and unfailing source of infectious optimism. If i am her rock, then she would be the ground that i knowingly and trustingly lay upon. Secondly, she's my lover. A passionate and conscientious woman. Her warm embraces can easily thaw and chase away any of my blues. Somehow or another, we have a close and confident faith that everything we have now is meant to be. Everything, from the love and respect we have for each other. It just seems to fall in place, piece by piece, perfectly. I'm eagerly awaiting for her to return. i really longed for the times, where we are both close to each other, just quietly delighting just in the presence of the other.

At least for now, we have a guaranteed reprieve. 22nd of July is what's on her return ticket right now. Exactly, a month's time from now... I hope she can get an earlier flight before July 14. Then, she'll be able to fill in the only missing part to my celebration and joy of completing my tertiary education. We'll shall leave that to fate i guess. Well, at least the good news is that my work now commences on a later date, 1st of August instead.

So maybe everything is really meant to be as it is... right my love?


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postscript:: Thank you all who made my university colorful and complete, especially, Clara. You are the prized award and gift that i am most proud to have, and you are also the most important teacher i have learnt from. Thank you for teaching me what is to be alive and happy. i love you.

msn history

It's now exactly three months, since my girlfriend, Clara, left for exchange to Switzerland. Retrospectively, that time has been a lonesome companion to me. Although, we are blessed with technology such as IM and VOIP, enabling us to talk and see each other every other day, the feeling is unmistakeably different. Virtual reality just cant convey the intricacies and sense of intensity of love.

Love, although knowingly intangible, is actually very much tangible. Nothing comes close to Clara's gentle touch or her soft warm breathe. I recalled fondly sitting by her bedside, counting her each breathe while she was deep in sleep. It's those simple moments, that i feel very much in love, for i feel truly alive and contented... somehow, i feel that i live through her.

So far, i think i have been holding up well in SG. Honestly, the overloading amount of work is the only thing that temporarily distracts me from my pinning for her. But when i am by myself, I realised how alone I truly am.

Clara, I am very thankful that we had the chance to spend a lot of time together before you left for your exchange. After talking to you in the past few days, you made me understand how wonderful life can be, even with the simplest of things. I'm truly grateful for your patience with me.

It's just been a little shy of one and half years with you, but we have now, is both glorious and magically. Pouring through our msn archive and our letters i managed to dig this entry up

MSN History

shannon
"On this slate upon my life's journey is scribed, i carved my promise to you, my love, Clara. That forever, i will be true to you. Nothing will waver my love for you. As I clasped your hand in firmly in mine, i vowed that you will be loved and protected in these arms of mine. As a guide, a companion, a love for all time. I love you."

I, honestly, pray that our love will never wane, and that we shall partner each other for rest of life's journey as a couple of tremenous faith and love.




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postscript: If you have gotten the letter i have sent to you, you'll probably understand why i do not blog or write as often, or why most of my entries are short.

Future

The story about a chicken and goose.
metamorphosis.
chickoose and goosken.

a faceless society of drones

itinerant silos
poignant vessels
sealed facades

happy

a belated entry on the happiness i found. 26th Dec 2005

Lost in a misty fog.
Confusing its falsity.
Blinded I stumbled
Alone I walked.

Drawn by a faint glow.
Alluring its warmth
Ignorance I feigned
Comfort I resisted.

But,

Strong it grows the radiant glow
Repressed feelings, latent no more

Close it appears a radiant angel
Outreached arms, beckon with love.

Simple was the promise she offered
Profound love, unknowingly she provided


Clarified, I am now.

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Affinity found us; it’s as simple as that. Every moment we spent, reaffirms my decision and my love for her. It’s the feeling of finding the missing piece. Contentment, of finding one’s relief. I am Happy. Truly. I am sure we will stand this way for a long time to come.

PS. Thank you friends who have seen me through my tough and rough times. Congratulate me for i am truly happy